“Ah, I see you’ve found one of my biggest failures, I’m surprised the binding is still intact after all these years.”

      Embarrassed at being caught going through someone’s belongings he quickly put the book back on the shelf, “This is incredible sir, I had no idea you had written a novel.”

      “It would have been better that I hadn’t. The whole thing is garbage.”

      “I’m sure that’s not true! I’ve read some of your copywriting sir and it’s absolutely brilliant. I’ve actually been working on a book of my own.”

      “Is that right?”

      “Yes sir. It’s a war novel but also a love story. I’m trying to contrast the brutality of violence with the love of two young …….”

      “Have you ever been in a war?” he interrupted.

      “N n no sir”, he said, fumbling over his words. There was a long pause as he tried to think of a way he could justify writing a war novel never having been in one.”

      “You see that pamphlet on the desk?”

      “Yes sir.”

      “Pick it up and read it to me.”

      He began reading, “GREAT FOR DOGS OF ALL SIZES - Large and small dogs love the plush dog toys Macy’s has to offer! No matter what size your pup is they’re going to love it! DURABLE FOR EVEN THE SCRAPPIEST DOGS - Macy’s plush dog toys hold up even when enjoyed by the scrappiest canines. No need to worry about loose pieces thanks to every seam being reinforced by nylon tape for extra strength.” Steve was laughing nervously, “What is this sir?”

      “It’s an advert I recently wrote for a dog toy called Totos Pawdka. If you flip the pamphlet over you can see a picture of it on the back.”

      “Do you know how many people have read the words that you just read?”

      “No sir.”

      “Well, Todos Pawdka sold 1,000,000 units last month, so at least that many, and likely many more that saw it on the shelf but had the good sense and taste not to purchase it. Do you know how many people read my novel?”

      “No sir.”

      “Three. My wife, editor, and I. My mother bought the one copy we ever sold, but I’m pretty sure she never made it through the whole thing.”

      “I’ll be honest with you son. Maybe too honest. You’ll pour your heart and soul into that book. Your family, income, and quality of life will suffer. And after you’ve made the 1,000,000th edit from your editor and the final draft goes to print guess what’ll happen? No one will give a shit. No one will read it. No one will care.”

      He paused for a long moment trying to collect his thoughts, “I don’t think it’s about how many people read or don’t read something sir. We create for ourselves and because we feel called too. If we create for the sake of pandering to and pleasing an audience then we’ve lost what this is all about.”

      “That’s nonsense son.”

      His face reddened at being disagreed with so directly, “How so sir?”

      “Why of course you care if people read it. There is no greater fulfillment than seeing someone experience utility or joy from something you have made. We don’t create things in isolation perfectly content with the idea that no one may ever care about them. You need to separate in your mind the writing process from the preferred outcome. In the writing process, it is true, that the writer can become so obsessed with the imaginary audience that his or her work devolves into meaninglessness because great things are only accomplished and created with conviction. But the preferred outcome for the writer is to not create something for him or herself that no one will ever read. It’s to share words that touch the minds and hearts of others. It’s to communicate a belief or thought to someone you may never know or meet, and in a way that allows them to understand you, or at least the part of you that you want them to understand. Part of what you said describes the mindset needed to write great things, but part of it is also a justification of failure.”

      There was a pause as he tried to chose his next words carefully, “Even if we fail to have our thoughts and voices heard, even if our whole lives are spent screaming into a void that never acknowledges or responds to what we’ve said, if we feel like we have something worth saying, don’t we owe it to ourselves to at least try?”

      “Well I may be old enough to think that I know everything and preach at you until I’m blue in the face, but I’m still young enough to know that many things in life we must experience for ourselves. Write your war novel love story son, and get it out of your system.”

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